"Do you really eat that for Passover?"

At synagogue recently, someone commented that gentiles must get some very strange ideas about Passover when they look at the Passover aisle in the grocery stores. In the average grocery store, you will see three-foot-long packages of matzah, jars gefilte fish and borscht, and shelf after shelf of cookies, cake mixes and candies... and very little else. Do Jews really eat that stuff and nothing else all eight days of Passover? I thought perhaps a little explanation might be in order.

Keep in mind that, for the most part, we can eat the same meats, fruits and vegetables, eggs, milk and cheese during Passover that we eat year round. We're not just eating borscht and gefilte fish with matzah; we're eating steak and potatoes, roasted chicken or turkey, beef stew, cheese omlettes, egg salad, tuna fish and so forth, but you don't see that sort of thing in the Passover aisle because for the most part, we buy that the same way we do every day. Those who are strict about Passover have more hoops to jump through, avoiding most prepared foods because those foods are likely to contain oils, syrups, or trace amounts of other ingredients that might be forbidden. People who are that strict generally do their Passover shopping at stores with a more extensive Passover selection, not your basic local grocery store. I go to specialty stores to seek out Passover-certified items that are ingredients in my Passover recipes. And some Passover-certified items are found right in the regular aisles of the store: you'll see Passover certification labels on cottage cheese and yogurt in the dairy section, or on olive oil on the oil aisle, for example.

But let's address a few of the oddities in the Passover aisle at your local grocer:

Five-Pound Boxes of Matzah

Do we really eat all that matzah? Well, some do and some don't. In many stores, the 5-pound boxes of matzah are like the 20-pound turkeys that your family gets at Thanksgiving: you don't finish it, but you buy it anyway because the stores sell it very cheap (or even give it away free) to draw in people who will spend a fortune on the other trimmings. Of course, a family of four with no other bread options for 8 days might well work their way through five pounds of matzah. But for most of us, Michelle Citrin and William Levin's video, 20 Things to Do With [leftover] Matzah, sums it up pretty well.

Gefilte Fish

Do people really eat that? Hmn... well, I don't care for it, but I'm not a fish eater. It's made of ground up fish (carp, whitefish, pike) with some vegetables, eggs and matzah meal, and formed into oval-shaped patties (to suggest the shape of a fish) and boiled in fish broth. Many consider it to be a delicacy, and it's traditionally the first course at a seder (after the matzah ball soup, of course). When I was in college, our dining hall served it every day during Passover, and the Jewish students ate it eagerly (the gentiles were terrified of it, except for one fellow from mainland China -- see Passover College Memories). But I don't think most people eat much of it after seder.

Borscht

Borscht is a traditional Eastern European soup made with beets. I honestly have no idea why so much of it is available on the Passover aisle every year.

Cookies, Cakes, Macaroons and Candies

Do we really eat all that junk food? Hmn ... Well, you have to understand, regular cookies and cakes are obviously forbidden during Passover as leavened grain products. Most candies are less obviously forbidden because they contain corn syrup, which is also forbidden under Askenazic rules (the rules for Jews from Germany and Eastern Europe). And these are not the sorts of things that are easily made from scratch during Passover, like the main courses are. So what is a person to nibble on during Passover? I confess, I eat more junk food during Passover than year round, wolfing down fruit slice jellies whenever the urge to eat something non-Passover strikes me.

I hope that sheds some light on the oddities you find in the Passover aisle of your grocery store.

For more information about Passover dining, including several recipes or links to recipes, see Judaism 101's Pesach (Passover) Cooking Tips.

Kosher Chic

Kosher: It's hip, it's hot, it's happenin'.

According to an article in this week's U.S. News & World Report, "New Taste for Kosher Foods," "kosher" is now the most popular claim on new food products, more popular than "organic," "all natural" or "no additives or preservatives." According to the article, sales of kosher foods have risen 15 percent a year for the past decade, and only 20 percent of kosher food buyers are Jewish. A sales figure like that should be sufficient to debunk the "Jewish tax" conspiracy theory nonsense, but I'm sure the people who believe in that nonsense will simply attribute the USN&WR article to the Jewish media conspiracy.

There are many reasons why people prefer kosher foods, some of which are valid and some of which are... less valid.

The biggest advantage to the kosher label is... it actually means something! A label like "organic" doesn't really mean anything: all food is "organic" ("of, relating to, or derived from living organisms"); it certainly isn't "inorganic"! Of course, we all have a vague sense that "organic" food is food that is grown in accordance with certain principles, but the word "organic" doesn't have a legal definition, so it's hard to know what you're getting when you buy "organic" foods.

Kosher, on the other hand, has a fairly clear meaning, and while different movements of Judaism and different rabbis may quibble about some of the intricate details, the basics are firm and consistent. Unfortunately, most people have no idea what kosher means, including, I'm sure, many who seek out the kosher label. Many people think "kosher" means that the food is cleaner, safer, healthier, or blessed by a rabbi. That's not what "kosher" means.

"Kosher" means that the product does not contain any food that Jews are forbidden to eat under Jewish law, most notably: no bugs and no meat from forbidden animals (pork, shellfish, etc.). If meat is from permitted animals (beef, chicken, salmon, etc.), then the animal was slaughtered in the method required by Jewish law and the meat was drained of blood and soaked and salted to remove any remaining blood. "Kosher" also means that the product does not combine items that cannot be eaten together: meat and dairy cannot be eaten in the same meal under Jewish law, so if the product includes even the slightest trace of a dairy ingredient, it cannot include any meat ingredient, and vice versa. In fact, meat and dairy must be so thoroughly separated that the manufacturer must thoroughly clean any ingredient that touched a dairy product before that equipment touches a meat product, and vice versa.

There are many organizations around the world that certify products as kosher. The best ones have a rabbi inspect the list of ingredients to make sure all ingredients are kosher, then inspect the facilities to make sure the process is kosher. The certifying organization will also periodically send a rabbi around to perform surprise inspections, making sure that the product is in fact made with the ingredients claimed and is in fact prepared in the method claimed.

The best kosher-certifying organizations have trademarked symbols (referred to as a hashgachah) that are placed on the products they certify as kosher. Examples of four of the best-known, most widely-accepted symbols are shown at right, but there are dozens of other well-respected symbols around the world. It is a violation of U.S. trademark law to place these symbols on a product without the permission of the trademark owner, that is, the certifying agency, so you know the product meets their standards.

So the presence of this symbol means that the product is carefully monitored to make sure that it satisfies the rules described above. Contrary to popular belief, however, the symbol does not necessarily mean that the product is any cleaner, safer or healthier than an uncertified product, though cleanliness and safety may be an unintended byproduct of kosher food production. For example, bugs are not kosher, which means that vegetables must be thoroughly cleaned to remove any bugs, which will of course promote cleanliness. The need to clean equipment as part of the process may also promote cleanliness. The soaking-and-salting process also has certain germ-reducing benefits, though it does not eliminate things like salmonella.

But the most significant genuine advantage to kosher certification is the ability to easily identify foods that do or do not have certain ingredients, for those who are sensitive to such things. If you are allergic to shellfish, you can be sure that no legitmately kosher-certified product will have any trace of shellfish in it, because shellfish is not kosher. If you are sensitive to dairy products, you can rest assured that a kosher product that is marked "pareve" or "parve" (neither meat nor dairy) or "meat" will not have the slightest trace of any dairy ingredient. In fact, you can rest assured that the product was not even made on equipment that ever had a dairy ingredient on it, unless the equipment was thoroughly cleaned first. If you wish to avoid meat and poultry, you can rest assured that any kosher product marked "dairy" or "parve" or "pareve" has no trace of meat or poultry. Vegetarians and vegans, however, should be aware that eggs and fish are considered to be pareve (neither meat nor dairy), so a product marked pareve or dairy could contain eggs or fish. As you can see, kosher certification is a useful shortcut for those who want to avoid certain foods and don't want to memorize every ingredient that contains unsuspected dairy, meat or shellfish derivatives.

For more information, see:

• Kashrut: Jewish Dietary Laws at Judaism 101, a more in-depth discussion of Jewish dietary laws
• Kosher Symbols: Some Reliable Certifications from KosherQuest, an extensive list of respected kosher certification symbols you may see on products around the world, with contact information for the certifying agency that owns each symbol.

How Do You Spell Chanukkah?

As I was driving home on Friday afternoon, I heard on the radio a Chanukkah song I had not heard before: "How Do You Spell Channukkahh" by The LeeVees. It was a catchy tune, and at first it was refreshing to hear something other than the perennial Adam Sandler songs.

But as the song went on, I was increasingly bothered by the fact that the song had nothing to say about the holiday other than the fact that it was hard to spell! And it's not that hard to spell; it's simply hard to represent any Hebrew word in the Roman alphabet. By the last verse, my brain was screaming CHEIT-NUN-VAV-KAF-HEI!!! THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL IT! But if the topic is confusing enough to justify a song, maybe it's worth a blog entry.

The name of the Jewish winter holiday is not hard to spell in Hebrew. The preferred spelling is Cheit-Nun-Vav-Kaf-Hei, shown at right below. An alternate but equally legitmate Hebrew spelling is shown at right. The letter Vav in the middle of the version at right (a hook with a dot in it) makes the "u" sound, and can be represented as a consonant, as at right, or as the diagonal three-dot vowel, as at left.


The problem comes in trying to represent these Hebrew letters in the Roman alphabet, which doesn't correspond well to the Hebrew. The process of writing Hebrew in Roman letters is referred to as "transliteration," and it is more an art than a science.

Let's start with the first letter, the Cheit on the right side of the word (Hebrew is written right-to-left). It makes a throat-clearing noise that does not exist in the English language. In German, a similar sound would be written as "ch," so many people write that first letter as a "ch." Orthographers would write that sound as an H with a dot under it, so you may see it that way. Some people represent the throat-clearing sound as a "kh", but you rarely see the holiday name spelled that way. Many people write the first letter as an "h," which isn't really correct, but gets you a pronunciation that is closer to the correct one than if you were to mistakenly pronounce that "ch" as in "chair"! I prefer the "ch."

Underneath the Cheit is a dash and two dots, a vowel that makes a short "a" sound as in "father." This is always transliterated as an "a."

The next letter (second from the right) is Nun, which makes an "n" sound. Some people transliterate this as "nn," but there is really no reason to do that. The better way to transliterate it is a single "n".

The next letter is either the Vav with a dot or the diagonal three-dot vowel, both of which make the same sound: the "oo" in "boot" or the "u" in "rule." This is most commonly transliterated as "u," but it would not be incorrect to transliterate it as "oo."

The next letter, which looks like a backwards "c" with a dot in it, is Kaf. It makes a "k" sound. Now, the dot inside a letter in Hebrew commonly doubles the sound, which explains why many (including myself) spell the holiday name with a double-k. But actually, in the letter Kaf, the dot is not used to double the sound, but only to distinguish between the hard "k" sound and the soft "kh" sound of the letter. Accordingly, it would probably be more correct to spell it with a single "k." My preferred spelling may not be right, but at least I'm consistent.

Next is the "T" shaped vowel under the Kaf. This one is tricky even to pronounce! In Sephardic pronunciation (historically the pronunciation of the Jews of Spain, Portugal, North Africa and the Middle East, which has become the preferred pronunciation because it is the one used in Israel), it is pronounced like the "a" in father, just like the dash with dots discussed above, and is transliterated as an "a." But in Ashkenazic pronunciation (the pronunciation that was used by Jews of Eastern Europe, which continues to be preferred by older Jews and by the Orthodox), that vowel is pronounced like the "aw" in "saw" or the "o" on "or"! That pronunciation is commonly transliterated as "o," so you might see the holiday name transliterated with an "o" at the end!

Finally, we have the letter Hei on the left side of the word. It makes an "h" sound, but at the end of the word it is silent, as in "Sarah." Some people write the "h," to more accurately reflect the Hebrew spelling, while others leave it off because it is not pronounced.

So here's what we're left with:



The most popular spellings are apparently Hannukkah and Chanukah, but you may see any variation of these. And this discussion reflects only the way it is written in America; in other countries, you may see other variations. For example, the LeeVees' song seems to indicate that in Spanish-speaking countries, it starts with a "J", as in Julio or jalapeno!

• The LeeVees' space on YouTube, which includes a video of this song and others


• The Hebrew Alphabet page on JewFAQ


• Chanukkah on JewFAQ

A Delicious Irony: Chanukkah Ham

If you follow the weird news as I do, then you have probably already heard the story about the New York grocery store that was selling hams marked "Delicious for Chanukah." The news articles all point out that ham and other pork products are forbidden under Jewish dietary laws, making this shelf tag ironic at best.

But every news article I've seen has missed the most peculiar aspect of this advertisement: the forbidden status of pigs is at the heart of the Chanukkah story!

The Jews of Seleucid Greece were being oppressed by a tyrant who wanted uniform religion in his lands and outlawed the practice of Judaism. Torah study was forbidden and so forth. But the last straw came when the Jews were compelled to sacrifice pigs on the altar in the Temple in Jerusalem. This outrage sparked open rebellion against the oppressive Greek government and the assimilated Hellenistic Jews who chose Greece over Torah. So ham is certainly a part of Chanukkah... but not in the way that the grocery store intended!

• The blog entry that started it all, with pictures: http://nancykayshapiro.livejournal.com/35633.html
• The story on the AP news wire: http://apnews.myway.com/article/20071206/D8TC7BKG1.html
• The story at the New York Daily News: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/food/2007/12/06/2007-12-06_balduccis_offers_ham_for_chanukah.html
• Chanukkah on JewFAQ: http://www.jewfaq.org/holiday7.htm

"Perfecting" Jews

A certain right-wing pundit recently stated in an interview that she thought Jews needed to be "perfected." The same woman has said in the past that we should send people over to the Middle East to forcibly convert the Muslims to Christianity, which would make them more peaceful (apparently she missed the history class about the Crusades).

Suffice it to say that I don't think her remarks are even worth dignifying with a response. Like Howard Stern and Don Imus, this woman makes money by shocking people. Like Stern and Imus, it's not even entirely clear whether she believes the outrageous, insulting, divisive things she says, or whether she just says them to get attention, publicity and of course, money. Why should I give her the publicity she seeks?

Frankly, I am far less concerned about her and her remarks than I am about the state of a society that makes such things profitable. I know that a lot of people gleefully listen to "shock jocks" and read extremist literature (both right and left) not to learn anything, not to understand anything, not even because they agree with it, but only for the sheer amusement value of seeing what outrageous thing these pundits will say or write next. Of course, once those outrageous things have been said, the bar is raised and the pundits must say or do something even more outrageous to get attention. It is a vicious circle, and there is no end to it in sight.

But one person responding on a news article about this situation made an excellent comment that suggests a way forward: if a blowhard speaks and no one is there to listen, does she make a sound?

Rolling Over (Minutes) in their Graves

Mobile phone service provider T-Mobile plans to put a 130-foot tower in Shalom Memorial Park, the Jewish section of non-sectarian Forest Hills Cemetery near Northeast Philadelphia. They will, of course, disguise it to look like a fake tree, but I gather that these fake trees aren't very convincing.

T-Mobile is currently trying to use cemeteries for tower locations in several cities, probably because the residents aren't in any position to complain and the owners are happy to take the lucrative lease contracts. T-Mobile currently seeking to place towers in Holyhood Cemetery in Massachusetts and Manoa Chinese Cemetery in Hawaii. The plan at Shalom Memorial Park, however, seems to have generated more controversy than the other plans, with hostile protests at the zoning board meetings to address the plan. Initially, it appears that the objections were primarily directed at the light and noise generated by a tower, but at yesterday's zoning board meeting included testimony from religious leaders concerned about the desecration of the cemetery.

The board has not yet reached a decision. There will be further hearings in October.

The following news links worked at the time I posted this article, but may be taken down at any time:

• Residents oppose proposed cell tower (Shalom Memorial Park)
• Zoning Board Considers Controversial Cell Phone Tower (Shalom Memorial Park)
• Deal brings cell antennae to Holyhood steeple
• Cell antenna planned for Manoa

And the Christian Legal Society shall lie down with Lambda Legal Defense...

When conservative Christian groups agree with gay rights groups, when arch-conservatives in the vein of Ann Coulter line up with the ACLU ... can moshiach be far behind?

For those who haven't heard: Earlier this week, the United States Supreme Court rendered its controversial decision in Morse v. Frederick, in which a high school student was suspended for displaying a banner that said "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" across the street from his school. The student claimed that he simply meant the sign to be funny. It appears that he was seeking attention during the Olympic torch run past his school, and probably wanted to annoy his principal. The principal and the school defended their actions, claiming that this banner was a pro-drug message and they had the right to suppress student speech regarding drugs.

The case attracted attention across the political spectrum, and garnered a remarkable array of amicus curiae briefs (arguments by "friends of the court," people not directly involved in the case, advocating one side or the other). Both conservative Christians and drug legalization advocates lined up with the student ... drug advocates presumably agreeing with the "bong hits" part of the sign while Christians favored the "4 Jesus" part. Gays and conservatives both sided with the student, recognizing that their points of view are offensive to some and that this case could allow schools to censor their side of a debate. The ACLU has a lengthy list of pro-student amicus briefs on their website, linked below, and the ACLU list links to the complete text of each brief.

Unfortunately, the Supreme Court took the side of the school, but conservative Christians will be pleased to know that the court took issue only with the "bong hits" part of the sign and not with the "4 Jesus" part of the sign. The High Court upheld the suspension on grounds that preventing illegal drug use is part of the school's mission.

The following links go to sites not under my control. They were accurate at the time I wrote this post, but may disappear at any time:

• Supreme Court decision on Cornell University Law School's website
• Strange Legal Bedfellows on BeliefNet, discussing this odd combination of briefs
• Pro-student amicus briefs on the ACLU's website, listed with links to the full text of each brief